Skellian and Joe McShoots set out on their journey to the Dark Mage Inn. On the map it didn’t look too far away. Just over a small bridge and through a forest and underneath an underground cave and –
“Uh, Skell,” Joe McShoots said, stopping and scratching his head.
“Aye, lad?”
“Doesn’t this seem a bit far to travel? I mean, it looks close on the map, but this here map has everywhere in the kingdom on it, by the looks of it.”
Skellian slapped his knee and laughed. “Fret ye not, young McShoots, we can handle it. I think.”
Joe McShoots sighed and said, “on your head be it, Skell. Come on then.”
They travelled for some time and came to the small bridge marked on the map. It covered a rather large stream and a strange groaning noise came from underneath the bridge. Skellian put his hand out to stop McShoots from going any further. “I’ll check it out, lad.”
Skellian popped his head round the edge of the bridge and looked underneath. There, sprawled out on some jagged rocks, holding a bottle of some kind of black liquid, was a drunk, rough-looking elf. He burped, downed some of the liquid, and wiped his mouth. “Ay, you there, you with the little guy hidin’ over yonder. I – hic – I seen you ‘afore somewhere, ain’t I? Flip de flonger is the name, and this here be me bridge. Please pay me thirty eight pieces o’ gold, and a bottle of this here Black Mage drink, and i’ll let you on your way!”
Skellian looked back at Joe McShoots, and gave a tired look, before gleefully shouting, “Fuck that! McShoots, with me. We’re movin’.”
Flip de flonger began crying and screaming before quickly passing out, bottle still in hand.
“Well,” said Joe McShoots. “That was … easy. I thought for sure we’d have to do some unquestionable stuff to get over that there bridge, Skell.”
Skellan began walking, then suddenly stopped in his tracks. “Wait. He’s drinking Black Mage, McShoots! Maybe he knows a quicker way there. Hang on.”
Skellian ran back to the underneath of the bridge, and grabbed Flip de flonger by the neck, and shook him violently until he woke up. “Ah, good. You’re awake, you strange little … thing. Now, me and me sidekick here, we needs to get to the Black Mage Inn. You heard of it, right?”
Flip burped again, and nodded. “Ayy, I heard of it. That’s where I gets me drink!”
Skellian laughed. “Good. Good. Now. Tell me how to get there. Is there a quicker way?”
Flip de flonger nodded thoughtfully, and then said, “Nope. Shit out of luck I’m afraid.” Then he fell back asleep.
Joe McShoots knelt down to his side, and picked up the Black Mage bottle to inspect it. “Skell! Look. A map!”
“We got a bloody map here, McShoots.”
“Aye, but look at THIS map! It’s better quality, and has more roads and such with which we can use to travel to said Inn!”
“Hmm,” Skellian said. “Alrighty, then, McShoots. Grab it and let’s go.”
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